the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
