I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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