I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
