I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
