we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
