I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you will always have a special place in my vag
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
