I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
