thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
