There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
