got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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