I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
