i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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