i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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