it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
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You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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