maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
