bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
