Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
