You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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