Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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