Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
