haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
