Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
