and you said cock pushups were impossible
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
