He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
