So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
