He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
