tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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