i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
