Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
