Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
