He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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