I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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