While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
