Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
