i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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