I CAN MOONWALK!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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