I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
