So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
