paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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