Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
