3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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