We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
