We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
