Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
