omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
