Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Two words: blizzard sex
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
