Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
