Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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