i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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