He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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