I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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