I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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