You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
