I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
