Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My vagina is officially offended.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
