Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
