great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
