Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
