Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
