you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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