His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
